Magic’s Dwight Howard Signs With Rebel Alliance

Now that the Orlando Magic’s season is over, and a looming NBA lockout approaching, Dwight Howard has signed with the Rebel Alliance in their efforts against the Empire and Darth Vader.


In a statement made by Luke Skywalker, leader of the Rebel Alliance, Skywalker likes the addition of Howard but has some concerns:

“We thought bringing Dwight in was a good idea,” Skywalker said. “And Dwight was awesome. He was turning Imperial TIE fighters away like crazy.  But then everyone else just kind of flew around aimlessly in their X-Wing Fighters and watched. They didn’t really get involved in the fight. Next thing you know, no one could hit anything.  Pilot Wedge Antilles was shooting like he was cross-eyed.  He took 10 shots at the Death Star’s exhaust port and nothing went in. Once again we had great smaller battles but when it came to the war, we just choked again. I just don’t get it.”

In related news, the Magic are looking to sign Chewbacca as a backup center admitting trading Marcin Gortat might have been a bad idea.

(John Karalis contributed)