You might come across parking meters that last longer than the Eddy Curry experiment with the Miami Heat. That’s because the ol’ pork chop ain’t exactly motoring up and down the hardwood.
Curry, the Heat’s attempt at a reclamation project at center, missed his second consecutive practice Tuesday. He made it through his first workout with the team on Saturday but left his second practice on Sunday early and now has missed the new two sessions.
The Heat say Curry has been sore and has a hip flexor after his limited work thus far.
This is Curry’s last chance to play in the NBA. Well, it SHOULD be his last chance to play in the NBA but considering the money being thrown at big men, I feel like someone might take a chance on him if it doesn’t work out. Still, though, the jokes that Curry hoped to silence (like the pork chop remark I made 15 seconds ago) are only being reinforced. This doesn’t help:
[Curry] said he’d lost 70 pounds in preparation for training camp. Curry checked into camp weighing over 300 pounds
To be fair, Curry may well have weighed almost 400 pounds at some point, so the above sentence may still be accurate.
I have neither mercy on nor pity for Eddy Curry. He’s not even 30 years-old yet and he’s made almost $70 million in the NBA. He’s had plenty of time to work with a trainers to get himself into adequate playing shape to squeeze a few more years out of his career and he couldn’t even do that.
So the Heat can be patient and see if Eddy’s body catches up. And if it doesn’t, they can easily lure him out of the training facility with a trail of candy. Either that, or they can get a local zoologist to come in with the rhinoceros tranquilizer and pull him out during a water break or something.
At a time when nothing in the NBA makes sense anymore, it’s nice to see I can count on Eddy Curry to still be Eddy Curry.
