Andrei Kirilenko Scientifically Puts His Foot Halfway Down His Throat

You might not know this, but Andrei Kirilenko holds a doctorate.  Yep, he’s a “Doctor of stupidity,” which he earned from the “Jimmy The Greek school of racial sensitivity.”  In fact, he just finished his thesis with this remark. 

A Russian man has been traditionally notable for his great physical power (that is to say, the muscles). Without muscles you have no place in modern basketball, especially if you are a center. But compared to the Americans we look quite feeble. Why is is so? (НерпЪ)

– We look quite feeble, I agree. But looking at the training of a guy who starts playing in college and continues his career in the league, you can’t imagine how much time they spend in gyms in America. A hundred times more than we do. People don’t only play basketball, but also work out regularly, whole programs are developed there. We lag behind in this regard, we try to play more with our talent, we want to prevail with tactics, approach, ‘intelligent’ basketball, I’d say. In America it’s purely one-on-one game – you have to be stronger, faster, jump better. It’s also the nature that favors black players making them physically stronger than we are – that is a scientifically proven fact.



That was said.  

And that’s going to make things a little bit interesting when our boy AK-47 shows up at camp (obligatory parenthetical remark: “whenever that will be”) and has to explain himself to the scientifically proven physically stronger black players.  I’m sure they will scientifically explain to him the error of his ways and how dumb a remark that was.  

His only chance at survival will be to flex his ridiculous new back tattoo and hope that scares them away.  He addresses that in the interview as well: 

Your tattoo from World of Warcraft has raised a furor…

It’s not a tattoo from WoW, it’s just this game was a revelation for me, it was something I had been looking for a long time. So you can’t say I’ve got myself a paladin tattoo. It’s just a person who inspired me and the game became the thing in which I wanted to express myself long ago. It has given me… ‘inspiration’ [Kirilenko says this word in English –]… How do you say it in Russian?


No, it’s the wrong word. Let it be impetus. The game has given me an impetus. And speaking about the tattoo I just wanted to make myself a gift for my 30th birthday. I have never regretted it since. Until this age I never thought I would ever get myself a tattoo. But now I felt I was ripe for that. I didn’t want a small picture, being afraid it won’t be visible enough. I have a friend whom I know since school and long ago we agreed that if we make a tattoo that would only be together. So he arrived to America specially for this purpose and also got himself a tattoo. On his shoulder, though.

AK-47 is an odd guy.  And reading that interview is a weird, wild ride.  Under a section titled “Gays”, after Kirilenko talks about being tolerant, he’s asked about planking… as if planking is related to homosexuality somehow.  

You won’t need weed or acid to go on a trip when you follow this link.  But buckle up, this ride inside Kirilenko’s brain is not for the weak of stomach, or the weak of reading comprehension.  

Good luck.  You may never look at a sausage the same way again.

via TBJ