The Philadelphia 76’ers killed their former mascot, Hip Hop, a couple of weeks ago. Now, they’re trying to settle on a new one, and I’m not sure any of these are any better
* A 7-foot tall rendition of Ben Franklin, named “Big Ben.”
* B. Franklin Dogg, the All-American pet, adapted from artist drawings from the day nestled under the table beside Franklin.
* Phil E. Moose, a 7-foot tall adaption of a basketball player; the moose being “one of the most regal animals to roam the wild.”
I get it, Philly. Your nickname is the 76’ers, so it’s very difficult to come up with a mascot. I mean, you can’t exactly have a number 7 and a number 6 out there jumping off trampolines.
But can’t you do better than a 7 foot tall Ben Franklin?
What will he regale us with during time outs? A dramatic signing of the declaration to use the amnesty clause on Elton Brand? Free bi-focals for every child in the front row? Jumping off a trampoline and dunking over a row of his favorite French prostitutes?
And it’s not like the dog or moose are much better. Doesn’t the Moose infringe on the award winning Bango in Milwaukee? And in a very “Brewster’s Millions” moment, current polls show “none of the above” winning the public opinion battle by a healthy margin.
I know you guys have thought really hard about this mascot thing in Philly, but I think you need to try a little harder.
