The NBA Finals Are Good For Business

Cities love big events like the NBA Finals.  The crush of fans, athletes, and their posses bring in some sweet, sweet ducats to the local establishments.

Especially if those local establishments feature fixed brass poles from which young ladies can swing while wearing nothing but a smile.

“The NBA championship series was positive for our clubs in Miami and the Dallas-Fort Worth market during this quarter,” said Eric Langan, President and CEO of Rick’s Cabaret. “The Rick’s Cabaret locations in Minneapolis and San Antonio did very well, and our newly acquired club in Indianapolis is beginning to make contributions to our revenues.”

I’m sure most players just wandered in thinking “Hey, look…a cabaret!  That seems like a fine, wholesome place to be entertained with some jolly songs, wonderfully choreographed dances, and maybe a few jokes.”

Good for them for not being rude and leaving when they, to their horror, found scantily clad women asking for a meager pittance in exchange for some brief titillation.

Seriously, though, this lockout needs to end quickly.  If it doesn’t, then strip clubs in NBA cities across the country may be forced to shut down.  Without NBA players to support these establishments on road games, they will rely on local regulars to make ends meet.  And quite honestly, I …errr… they don’t have that kind of cash just lying around.  

C’mon, NBA.  Think of the single moms making some money to feed their kids and the young girls just doing this to save up for grad school.  What will they do without you?  

Please help. 

(That last paragraph not doing it for ya? Try reading it slowly and dramatically with this playing in the background.   Ahhh… see?  NOW we’re feeling some feelings.)