We are fresh off the anniversary of Wilt Chamberlain’s 100 point game, and the big question is… “who could break his record?” We’re not going to get into that discussion.
What we have here is a list of not just the least likely players to break the record, but the most awesomely hilarious players to do it.
Brian Scalabrine
November 21, 2012 – The Chicago Bull storm out of the gates against the Detroit Pistons, going on a 24-2 run to start the game. Brian Scalabrine enters the game with 2:41 in the first quarter and drills four three pointers to end the quarter. He comes out after the break and hits three more in the first two minutes. A minute later, he gets fouled on another 3 and makes the free throw. The Pistons bench gets a tech and Scal buries that… and he’s just getting started.
At halftime, Scal has 43 points on 13-15 shooting (10-12 3pt, 9-9 FT). The barrage continues in a perfect third quarter in which Scal hits all 12 of his three pointers to reach the 79 point mark. After each 3, he pops his jersey and pounds on his chest. In the 4th, he starts driving, drawing foul after foul. He takes 13 free throws in the 4th, hitting 12. Four of those are and-1’s… bringing him to 99. His 100th and 101st point came on a drive and posterization of Ben Wallace.
“All I needed was the opportunity,” said Scal after the game. “The White Mamba was just lying in wait, ready to strike. Tonight, I got my chance.”
Ben Wallace
November 23, 2012 – For a day and a half, Wallace saw pictures of Scalabrine dunking on him for the record. When he steps on the court, he looks over at Scal, who gives him the finger guns and winks…
And Wallace snaps. 
A man possessed, he wins the opening tip, streaks down the floor and catches an alley oop. The next 5 possessions are blocked shots/fast/break/Wallace dunks… and 3 and-1’s that he cans. in just 2 minutes, Wallace has 15 points. “He’s going for Scal’s record,” the announcer jokes. But that’s exactly what Wallace is doing.
The barrage continues. Fade-away jumpers, dunks, a steady stream of perfect free throws that leave his teammates slack-jawed. At the half, he’s got 61 points. Tom Thibodeau, sick of getting torched, decides to employ a hack-a-Wallace strategy. He’s hacked every time he touches the ball, but the 41.8% free throw shooter is suddenly a dead-eye. Wallace goes 16-16 from the line in the quarter, adding four more buckets for 85 points. Another five fouls and another astonishingly perfect 10 free throws put him at 95 on the night. Wallace escapes for two follow dunks to bring him to 99.
Then… a loose ball. Rodney Stuckey dives on it… flips it head to Wallace… who only has one man in his way.
Scalabrine.
Two dribbles… they both rise up. Wallace flushes right on Scal. Payback.
He shoots Scal the finger guns… winks… and leaves the arena without talking to the media.
Juwan Howard
February 7, 2073 – Howard, now playing for the Tehran Heat as the NBA’s global expansion reaches the middle east, celebrates his 100th birthday in style. Thanks to the experimental German techniques born from Kobe Bryant’s knee procedure in 2011, and a full complement of state-of-the-art replacement joints, Howard is still going strong.
Despite his artificial hip acting up, Howard jokes that he’d love to score a point for every year he’s been alive. Which he does, against an undermanned, Spurs team on an extended “super-rodeo road trip.” Ever the model of consistency, Howard drops 25 points in each of the first three quarters, in a steady array of drop steps in the post and mid-range jumpers. In the fourth, he scores scores 26 by hitting a technical free throw on Spurs coach, Gregg Popovich, Jr.
“I had it going tonight. The way I felt tonight, I know I can probably keep going another four or five years.”
Darko Milicic
January 8, 2013 – The Minnesota Timberwolves are in Washington to take on the Wizards. A minute into the game, there’s a scrum for a loose ball. Guys are diving all over the place, but the ball squirts out and JaVale McGee picks it up and sees a clear path the basket. He takes off, and rips off a windmill dunk.
At the wrong basket.
But JaVale McGee is oblivious to the mayhem it caused. He doesn’t hear the crowd or the coach screaming him. Darko, being the closest guy to the basket when it happens, gets credited for the two points. McGee, still living in his own world, continues to be amazed at all the open paths to the basket he’s getting. The Wizards burn through all of their timeouts trying to get it through his head that he’s shooting at the wrong basket, but JaVale is tuned out. He checks in on his own, and treats the Wolves basket as his own dunk contest. Darko, sensing the opportunity, just follows McGee around the court to get credited for the baskets.
In the end, Milicic finishes with 113 points on 0-0 shooting in an 85 point win.
Greg Oden
May 5, 2017 – Oden is finally cleared to play after an additional pair of microfracture surgeries. Still with the Blazers, he gets off the bench quickly thanks to foul trouble. Suddenly, Oden, eager to finally prove himself, dominates. He overpowers a small Lakers team playing without an injured Andrew Bynum and goes off for a 28 point first quarter.
After a short break, Oden continues to decimate LA’s front court with power moves, three-point plays and even an improved mid-range game. At the half, he’s tallied 53. After 3, he has 84. With :45 left, and 99 points, Oden takes a feed on the left baseline, up-fakes, spins, and finishes with a vicious two-had slam.
When he lands, he hears a pop. His left knee has given out on him once again. Oden is carted off the court before he can finish the game.
Crossover Chronicles’ Jeff Garcia, and Phil-Rossman Reich contributed to this article.
