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Probably the most underrated event in sports starts this weekend: the NBA playoffs. Folks decry the NBA’s style of play versus college which is “real basketball,” because they can act like bleeding shot clocks and high ball screens means they’re really smart, but the honest truth is that NBA basketball is incredibly better played.
Some of the stuff NBA players do is more fit for “Freaks” than modern sport, and while yeah, guys getting paid for 82-plus games means there are some dull moments of waning effort, the playoffs are always played with incredible gusto and savage bloodlessness. Plus, unlike anything else, the best team usually ends up winning. It’s not about voting and perception (college football), getting hot at the right time (NFL), who has a hot pitcher (MLB), God only knows what (NHL), or who can handle a unique six game tournament (college basketball).
So without more paragraphs about stuff, the NBA playoffs are great, and the match ups this year in the first round hold some salty television watching. Let’s rank them, since nothing boils people up like putting numbers next to stuff.
1. Houston Rockets vs Dallas Mavericks: It’s probably the one actual rivalry in the NBA where the fan bases genuinely don’t care for each other. Chandler Parsons adds a little to the rivalry, although he’s been all over the place. Dallas will probably need hot Dirk, and I’m really not screwing with you on this one, but the key will be Al-Farouq Aminu.
The Call: Mavericks in 6
2. Toronto Raptors vs Washington Wizards: This is sort of that deal where you’re dating a few girls and two of them have potential to go really far and you figure that will stay the same, and then you go to the local watering hole and both are there, so you know that night one is getting eliminated begrudgingly. Both teams are on the natural ascent, with the Wizards being a little farther along, but for the sake of predicting stuff, I don’t think overall that Washington shoots well enough to get this one done. It’ll be awfully close though. Do watch.
The Call: Raptors in 7
3. Los Angeles Clippers vs San Antonio Spurs: Spurs got themselves a nice match up, because you know Pop will go hack DeAndre Jordan if it’s close, and media types will whine about the hack-a-player logic and how it needs to be changed rather than admitting that maybe said hacked player should work on his free throws a little harder or sit on the bench in crucial minutes. No rewarding failure. Pop on.
The Call: Spurs in 6
4. Portland Trail Blazers vs Memphis Grizzlies: This honestly could be number one, because it’ll be like one of those boxing matches on late at night where it might not always be the most fundamentally sound example of the sport, but guys aren’t dancing around … it’s just hay maker throwing. Just feel like Memphis’ physicality and ability to deal with LaMarcus Aldridge tilts it their way in spite of being banged up. Half court playoff basketball is like craft beer to the Griz.
The Call: Grizzlies in 7
5. Golden State Warriors vs New Orleans Pelicans: The Warriors lost all of 15 games, but 13 percent of those were to the Pelicans. Math, and stuff. No, but what it means is that there’s a hint of a doubt that it could yield some competitive games if nothing else. Your big issue is that the offense has to be set up to get the ball to Anthony Davis and GS should be able to pressure enough to make that tough. The Pelcs roster otherwise is underwhelming, but they have moxie.
The Call: Warriors in 5
6. Chicago Bulls vs Milwaukee Bucks: I don’t know why Jason Kidd doesn’t get more pub for coach of the year, but I’m not smart enough to vote on those things. All I know is that the Bucks were O’Doul’s last year and at least turned into a Summer Shandy this time around. Michael-Carter Williams and Derrick Rose will be fun, but the Bulls have done this walking wounded making a playoff run sort of thing before.
The Call: Bulls in 5
7. Cleveland Cavaliers vs Boston Celtics: If you’re getting into the “Boston vs Lebron again” thing, good for you. But the reality is that it’s like Green Day basically after “Nimrod.” You can like it because it reminds you of how great of entertainment things used to be, but in all honesty it has all the intrigue of mowing your grass by hand.
The Call: Cavaliers in 4
8. Atlanta Hawks vs Brooklyn Nets: Credit the Nets for playing about one good quarter their last three games and still getting into the playoffs, but that tells you about the psyche of the team right there. Atlanta, on the other hand, probably is ready for the next step after pushing the infighting Pacers to 7 as an 8 seed last year. Hopefully Hawks fans and people in Atlanta who have nothing to do the nights the Hawks play can show up, because they’re good. I’ll just say Brooklyn steals game 4 out of apathy.
The Call: Hawks in 5
